Hello! This is Jamie Teleportation, a webcomic of madness and sanity! You knew that already, so you’d better keep reading.
Since you’re here, you’re probably wondering who exactly we are. It’s an excellent question! It’s such a good question that we put it in our “Frequently Asked Questions” page. Now, we’re rather pressed for time, so instead of repeating ourselves, we’re going to move on to other things.

– last words of Spreadsheet McAllister, 28 November 2081